starlanceleo's Xanga

Monday, May 18, 2009

Mon, 18 May 2009 16:15:20 GMT

"most girls these days are looking for their own edward cullen. ick."

When I read this comment from a girl, I laughed.

Did you know he played Cedric Diggory in the Harry Potter movies? I didnt even notice it was him until yesterday. I did like Twilight though. I find Stephanie Meyer's view on vampires quite interesting. But I was wondering, what are men looking for these days? Certainly not edward cullen's.

I certainly don't get how I'm supposed to find Angelina Jolie hot or otherwise. I'd probably would most like to say Kate Beckinsale in terms of famous celebrities. But I wouldn't be looking for one however. I wouldnt know how to say what I'm looking for in any terms I can think of.

All I can say is that she is culmination of all the admirable female characters in all the books I've read, the manga I've browsed & all the visual media I've seen. In reality she probably does not exist, except for the feeling she gives to me.

"ineffable."

I caught a mouse in a cereal box

Recently, it's starting to get pretty cold. Since the large property next to my home is a bush area, a lot of local wildlife live there. One weekend my dad decided to let some air through the house so he opened all the windows and doors. We noticed later that a mouse had crept into the house from the bush area. So for the last few weeks we've been trying to catch it.

Last night, as I woke up to get a drink, I went into the kitchen to the fridge. As I entered the kitchen area I noticed a loud rustling sound of a mouse! So I quickly turned on the lights! To my surprise the mouse had somehow climbed into the almost empty box of Nutrigrain (a type of cereal) and it was stuck! It couldn’t climb out!

We caught the mouse in a cereal box! Who knew it could double for a mouse trap! :]

Saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine today with Long. The movie was done well enough, it wasnt as satisfying for me because I already read the comic about wolverine's past a long time ago. But it still was a good movie to watch.

Will probably get my new computer monitor soon, Can't wait to view full HD stuff! 24 inches of clear sharp screen! I'll also be able to play my PS3 games properly now. Playing it on a normal TV just doesnt feel very satisfying.

Anyway soo many things to do within the next few months. I'll try not to slack off and get things done. So far this year is the year I seem to be able to accomplish a lot of things. I hope I'll be able to attend my cousin's wedding in malaysia this coming November. I'll have to check whether my assignments will be finished by then.

Either way, nothing much to blog about today.

Goals

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 06:39:29 GMT

Isn't it great when you set goals in mind, you write them down and you stick it on a place where you would see it everyday. It is my reminder, it is my motivator, it is what I wake up and see every morning.

I'm wondering what topic I might be able to write about today, It's been a while since I actually blogged!

Do you ever take a step back from yourself, and have a look around you? Some people are single and looking, some are focused in their goals, some are having kids, some are married or getting married, some are travelling all over the world. Some people are getting ready to look their first house, first official job etc.

When you think about it, do you ever think wow. I do.

Yeah I know. A little deep 'n meaningful. I tend to think about things like that sometimes. The world is the way you want to see it. You are the main character of your own story. :]

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 08:53:40 GMT

Leo is Bored. I wonder how he can find a new zest for life, or at least something new and exciting to do that is worth his time. He notices how time flies nowdays and time waits for no one. Thus he wants to do as much as he can. But sometimes all this action makes him weary and he retreats unto himself for some R&R.

I love storms.

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 20:14:56 GMT

Do I talk about the weather? Do I talk about how these bluish grey clouds are bloated with water anticipating their purge to the ground below? I feel their frustration with each lightning strike and resounding thunder clap.

Through these thick walls, I can see it. I can hear it.

I love storms. Their chaotic nature resonates with my core.
I love the sound of rain. The piter-pater dance of the falling rain drops. Just like little feet.

Where one is suffocating, look up and see the world of nature around you. Every little imperfection is perfection itself.

- L

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 05:22:18 GMT

I've decided to close this blog down for a while.

I'll come back time to time to leave some hidey-ho comments on your blog. You'd already know if I have subscribed to you.

- Leo

Monday, March 05, 2007

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 16:11:08 GMT

Speak Up! Ask Him for What You Want

by Susan Campbell, PhD

Want your guy to take care of dinner once in a while? Want him to help you get some time to yourself? That doesn't sound like too much to ask. So why do we all have such a tough time asking? In this excerpt from her book Saying What's Real: 7 Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success, Susan Campbell, PhD, explains that being assertive and diplomatic isn't as difficult as we think:

Why We Don't Say What We Want

Some people are uncomfortable expressing wants because they imagine they'll appear demanding or controlling. ("What if I ask for what I want, and he sees me as a nag?") But my clients and I are discovering that expressing wants can be an act of transparency or vulnerability. It really depends on the intent. Are you asking in a way that reveals what you want? Or does your manner of asking imply a threat that if you don't get what you want, there's going to be trouble? Asking in a way that reveals yourself is an act of love. This is an example of the intent to relate. Asking in a way that implies a threat is aggressive and fear-inducing. This would be an example of the intent to control.

But even if you do get good at revealing your wants, it is still possible that the other might feel controlled ‑- even though this was not your intent. Consider Vera's story. Vera has been dating Howie for six months. Howie has told her that he often felt overcontrolled as a child, and is therefore vigilant about others' attempts to control him. Through trial and error, Vera has discovered a good way to bring both herself and Howie more present. After stating a want, she checks in with Howie to find out how her request has come across.

Here's an example of how I have used Vera's discovery in my life. I call my partner at work to ask him to come home on time tonight so we can have a long, intimate evening together. While my aim is to be open and noncontrolling in my request, I can't help but recall times in the past when my partner has disclosed that my asking something like this resulted in his feeling controlled and choosing to stay at the office even later "just to assert my freedom." So now, as I consider making this request again, I feel some trepidation. In an effort to be transparent and vulnerable, I tell him, "I want you to come home on time tonight, and I also feel some fear about asking for this." Then I ask how he is feeling receiving my request ‑- does it seem controlling? Does he feel resistance? Then I am silent as I listen to his response.

I Shouldn't Have to Ask

Many people inhibit asking for what they want because they believe "If he really loved me, he'd know what I like." They assume that the person should care enough and know them well enough to know what they want, without their having to ask for it. For people like this, asking is seen as equivalent to admitting to themselves that the other doesn't care very much. They think, "If I have to ask for it, it's less valuable" or "If he sincerely wanted to please me, he'd do it without my having to ask." Holding this attitude is another patterned way to avoid taking the risk of asking for what you want. When you operate as if this were true, you don't ask for very much, so you don't have to hear no very often. The problem is, by using this self-protection strategy, you miss the chance to develop the resilience and confidence that come from asking without knowing how the other person will respond. Obviously you can never know in advance how the other is going to receive your request ‑- so asking is always a bit of a risk. But if the person cares about you, it is an intelligent risk. You will survive even if you hear a no, and either way, by opening yourself up to the unknown, you'll deepen your self-trust and begin to heal an outdated view you may have of yourself as too fragile.

Types of Wants

There are several types of wants ‑- asking for contact or attention; asking for space or the absence of contact; asking for tangible help (such as help with a project); and asking the other not to help you (as in, "I want you to listen and not try to fix it"). It is just as important to be able to say "I want space" (or absence of contact) as it is to say "I want time" (or contact). A very important in-the-moment request is "I don't want to respond to that right now." Often this will be in direct response to a partner's bid for information or attention. Give yourself permission to ask for more time, as in, "I'm not ready yet to answer that question or respond to that request. I need more time to check in with myself about that."

Since it is common for a person who wants a lot of contact to pair up with a person who wants a lot of space, it's good to recognize that both types of wants are valid. The person who wants space needs to assert this just as forcefully as the person who wants contact. Otherwise the relationship will become lopsided ‑- as if only one member of the pair, the one who likes more contact, has needs.

The Quid Pro Quo Response

In responding to requests, you can say yes, no, maybe, not now or I'll do that for you if you'll do this for me.

It's important to give yourself permission to respond to someone's request with a request of your own (if this is a genuine need). For example, if your partner asks to talk about a recent disagreement, and you're reluctant to spend very much time on this, you might reply, "I hear what you want. And what I want is to get some sleep pretty soon. So I'll talk about it, if you'll agree to limit it to twenty minutes tonight." As this shows, sometimes your response is a conditional yes, or quid pro quo: "I'll give you what you want if you'll give me what I want." Some people don't like quid pro quos. They think these are too businesslike, too much like negotiation; but there is a place for such exchanges in any mature relationship. Sometimes, if you're stretching yourself to fulfill a request, you need to take care of yourself by asking the other to stretch a little for you.